We have not had much success with house hunting. We have found two great/beautiful homes made offers and came out empty handed. I am going through an emotional roller coaster right now, and am loosing trust in the idea of this new chapter in our life. The coaster of emotions are excitement, hope, and more excitement to disappointment, frustration, blame, hopelessness, and rock bottom.
I can't stand the feeling of disappointment. All the other negative feelings listed come along with it, and I can't function in a state like that. I don't know who can. I ignore my children, I'm irritated with my husband, food is my only friend, and I just want to hide.
I have come a long way in recognizing when I get into this phase, but I still have a hard time getting out of it.
While talking to Randy last night and expressing my fears, doubts, and feelings. He reminded me that you can't give up. Yes, you can feel angry, but you go and play the next day (He used a great sports analogy). I know this may sound silly as I can't cope with disappointment, but that is what it is. I know we are in the Lord's hands. He wants us to be happy, and is not having us go through this so I can be mad at him. I have this opportunity to really trust in The Lord and know he is leading us to where we need to be. I know prayer and scripture study really do come into play in keeping me focused on trust and hope. I know the Lord is leading me and my family. It is funny how I need to be reminded of this concept. I have always had a firm testimony of this principle, but my growth needs to improve once again.
Now it is keeping my children needs met in a little apartment, getting to know a new city, and looking for our home once again. oh yeah, keeping a positive attitude along with it.
I am trying my best. Wish me luck...
3 comments:
I am so sorry you are sad. It is really hard to move, especially when you had so many great friends in St. louis. It will get better I promise. I know this because you are "LeAnn" One of the nicest persons I know!! You will probrably get overwhelmed with friends at one point. I love you and really do miss you. Don't give up, the best is one it's way!!
LeAnn, it will work out when it's supposed to work out. I would bet money that when things finally get settled, you will look back and say, "If things had gone like I wanted them to, ______ wouldn't have happened."
My sister had what she called her "6 months in Hell" when they moved for med. school last summer. She couldn't understand why they were struggling so much -- house nightmares, hubby in D.O. school (ie GONE), new state and far from everyone she knew and loved. And then all these doors opened in a matter of 5 days and her whole life fell into place. But she couldn't have gotten into the house she's in next to the friends she has now if her housing "wants" had come to pass in the beginning.
Hang in there girlie -- you know I love you and I know you will come out of this stronger!
oh, good luck you guys! We had something similar happen last year when we moved to Denver and were looking to buy and we only had DAYS before Sean started school. It was crazy, but we had this feeling it would all work out...and it DID! At the last minute, we were led to where we needed to be and it was definitely the perfect scenario. Heavenly Father won't leave you hanging. Just wait it out and it will work out for the better:)
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